what would you do if you were not afraid?

In her thought-provoking sermon today, Rev. Mary Eliot of Christ Church Columbia, reminded us of a question asked at the Advent meditation day in early December.

"What you would do if you were not afraid?"

Afraid of failing, afraid of loss, afraid of response.....

She made connections from this journey through towards the journey of the Magi to seen the newborn Jesus and the fear in the heart of King Herod. Perhaps I am getting her message all wrong, but I could not get past the first question, "what would you do if you were not afraid"

It is this concept of fear that I think prevents me (and so many) from even starting something. Or stops us mid way when we see we might fail. But what is failure? I believe it is the end of one journey and the start of a new one. We simply must embrace failure in small and large doses as a gift that God gives us as part of free will. We are able to learn, to experience, to grow because of these failures. It is only when we do not look at these failures as learning opportunities that we actually fail in the "end".

So many times in my life I have not done something because of an innate fear of failure. Most notably, not pursuing an opera degree and taking several "safe" jobs. But in those times in which I have jumped over the open water and taken risks or tried something out of the ordinary, it has caused me to stretch beyond who I think I am and grow towards becoming what God wishes me to be. This is a great gift.

So as I look ahead in 2008, what will I do when I am posed with the question "what would you do if you were not afraid?"

the church needs some xanax

I have read on a few other Episcopal-y type blogs about an uproar over the Presiding Bishop's Christmas card. Particularly, an article from the Episcopal Cafe which shares the Diocese of Fort Worth's opinion on the matter. While I can understand the point of DoFW with regards to their fear of continual polarization within TEC and the greater Anglican Communion, I feel that this entire things needs a stern look and a "Seriously?".

In our day when we are struggling with famine, war and atrocities all over the globe, with continued religious persecution, discrimination, financial disparity and countless other systemic issues, are we seriously writing memos of concern over a Christmas card that features women rather than men in adoration of our Christ Jesus? Have we also not come to understand over thousands of years that art is meant to stir the emotions and depict an artists interpretation or celebration, but yet at the core of the matter it is art, not fact?

Our church is under so much scrutiny that it makes being a member of the body that much more difficult. If our simple goal is to follow Jesus and to love one another that is the criticism of a Christmas card the right battle to pick? Isn't about time that our denomination embrace the unity of the church rather than the disparity? Frankly, isn't it time that our angry brothers and sisters take a little xanax, so to speak, and embrace our similarities, our shared beliefs and in this case, let art be art.

there is hope

Today my fourth grade boys gave me hope. I was feeling a little down with the emphasis on the materialism (guess how many kids got an Ipod or cell phone for Christmas?) and the Redskins (who apparently reign supreme in our school). I was feeling like we had come back to school without the renewal of hope that Christmas is supposed to bring that is until I caught wind of a fourth grade boys discussion......

Here is my abbreviated version:
"Did you hear about Britney Spears?"
"Yes, she is messed up."
"You know about her sister, right?"
"Yup, she's pregnant and she is NOT married and she is only 16"
"I heard her boyfriend dumped her"

I giggled a bit but a few minutes later when I still heard them speaking about it, I jumped in. (The ever nosy teacher)

"So what do you think about it?" says Nosy Teacher

Boys Reply....
"They canceled Jami's show, because she is not a good example."
"They need to get some help for their family"
"She isn't even married and you think she would have learned to make better choices by watching her sister"
"I hope that they can learn to be okay as a family"

I walked away feeling proud of the fact that while the boys were dwelling on E! channel idle gossip that at least they were making connections to poor choices and rather than make truly hurtful judgments about the situation, such as calling rude names or the like, showing some sort of empathy (on a boy like fourth grade level). They also demonstrated to me that they understand that people make destructive choices and that those who do should not be rewarded with say...extensions on their tv contract for a show that is on Nickelodeon, which caters to the tween set. It was high level thinking as far as I'm concerned and it gave me hope.

2008 Fitness Goals

No, these are not resolutions. These are goals. Now that I have spent two months in "recovery" from two marathons (aka sitting on the couch with a lot of ice cream), it is time to set my race goals so that I have something to keep me up and honest in the fitness arena.

Here they are:

March 2, 2008-B&A Trail Half Marathon
Goal: Break 1:40
April 20, 2008-Clyde's American 10K
Goal: Beat PR (47:54)
May 4, 2008-Frederick Half Marathon OR Marathon Relay (tentative due to singing schedule)
Goal: Have fun
June ?, 2008-Pocomoke Sprint Triathlon
Goal: Break 1:30 on the course, improve bike time by at least 5 min.
July 12, 2008-Diamond in the Rough Olympic Triathlon
Goal: Finish an Olympic Distance Tri (this will be my first race in my new age group, thanks USAT)
September 7, 2008-Delaware Diamondman Half Distance Triathlon
Goal: Do not die. Can I really ride 56 miles on my bicycle? Bring on the chamois cream.
October 11, 2008-The Baltimore Marathon (tentative based on Chicago entry)
Goal: If I do Baltimore, it would be for fun. If I get into Chicago, it would be to break 3:55

Other random goals: Spin class, More time in the pool, and make an attempt to try yoga....

ENJOY LIFE BY BEING FIT!

All Hail the ZPack

So after almost three weeks of sickness, I went to the Dr. last Friday (thank you, dear sister, for the ride and companionship). My lovely Dr. is soon to be out on maternity leave, but I was able to obtain a same day appointment with a very nice Dr. who has more degrees than letters in his name. :-)

I would just like to give praise and hail to the ZPack (zithromax) as after ONE dose, I could breathe again. After four doses today I was able to run fairly well and have very little pain.

Yea for prescriptions that actually work.

Happy New Year's Eve to All.

Merry Kleenex Christmas

Happy Day After Christmas readers!

Nothing fancy to say other than had a lovely Christmas with my smart and funny family. (Thank you Adam for teaching me the One-Upper skit from SNL, she is my new favorite character and was a hit at dinner)

Highly recommend the movie "License to Wed" and getting an internal oven thermometer.

Would also like to briefly lament that I have 7 days of vacation left and today, my "pajama day" was spent with my new friend the box of kleenex as Sudafed PE is crap. Thankfully, dear husband is bringing home orange juice. :-)

More when well readers.

Jesus is BORN!

Peace.

the best part

Ran today. Not long (1:15), Not hard (average 9:10/mi). But at least I was out.

The best part, the solitary blue heron standing quietly along the creek near my childhood home. It was just me and the bird, in solitude.

Quiet and beautiful as if we were the only two in the whole of the land. It was as though he knew me and I he as we stood there for a brief moment wondering of each other's purpose. Careful not to interrupt each other as we moved about our day. I wonder if his thoughts were as scattered as mine. I wonder if I had intruded on his morning meditation by chancing to view his beauty for a short time. Then quietly, with hopes not to disturb, went about my way.